I’ve been thinking a lot about fatherhood lately, this is stemming from a few things. One is that I’m currently reading Father Fiction by Donald Miller. In FF Miller (who grew up with no father) not only tells his story but relays information he feels is important for a fatherless generation. Reading FF not only challenges me to be more of a man, but it also leads me to ponder on fatherhood and how important my job will be when I become a father. While reading this book I find myself reading things and thinking to myself “Ah that is so true” and then I’ll think to myself “Oh wait my dad taught me that already but I was in high school and I didn’t apply it to my life.” It’s funny that I’m constantly relearning lessons I’ve already been taught, and while I may have been listening to what my dad was trying to teach me when I was younger, I wasn’t smart or mature enough at the time to use it actively. But wow I am so grateful I have those lessons from my dad in the back of my head to guide me or to say “Ohhh I have been taught that” when reminded of how to not only be a man but to be a GOOD man, God doesn’t call us to cut corners or find the easy way out, do you think Jesus took the easy way out? Heck. No.
I’ve been thinking about God as the Father a lot lately as well. Whenever I hear stories about the unconditional love a father has for his child the first time he holds him/her in his arms it blows me away. Then Pastor Mike Patz today in church was talking about the huge fear he felt when he thought of losing his son, of losing “his boy”. Oh that hit me hard because I think of God’s love for us that IS SO MUCH GREATER than any other love here on earth, and I think about how heartbreaking it must be for God to see “his boy” and “his girl” to reject Him, how unbearable it must have been for Jesus to allow the beings He loved so intensely to torture Him, to put Him to death, to reject Him in the most intense way. He is SO SUPREME over everything, but He sacrificed everything for His love for us and so that we may bring Him glory.
This leaves me wanting to badly to make God PROUD of me, for when I arrive in Heaven for Him to say “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.” (Matt. 25:21). I know that my best acts are like filthy rags to Him, but I want to have that faith over a little, just that faith to trust Him, and surrender all I am to him, and let Him do good works through me, knowing that without Him I am capable of doing nothing good. I can’t wait to be wrapped up in the arms of Christ, literally.
Looking back on this it seems it would probably fit better in my journal, it was a lot of venting it seems and has some rough edges I am sure, but here it is, enjoy.